Thursday, December 1, 2011

Select Ponderings

Warning:  Reading this will not permit you to remain in a bad mood.

Q:  How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up on It.

Q:  How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

Q:  How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take the Psychopath

Q:  How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil the Hell Out Of It

Q:  What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

Q:  What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting on The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

Q:  What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

Q:  What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

Q:  What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

Q:  What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.

Q:  What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

Q:  What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

Q:  What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Shipwreck.

Q:  What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

Q:  Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

Q:  Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

Q:  Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

Q:  What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

Q:  What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

Q:  Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

Q:  What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

 Q:  How are a Texas Tornado and a Tennessee Divorce the Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

Final thought:
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.